[New post] HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

New post on Regected Riter HAPPY HALLOWEEN! by AG Happy Halloween, all! I'm a Guest Blogger over at the HILARIOUS Paige Kellerman's blog, There's More Where That Came From.  You can hop on over there to see my advice on surviving scary movies!  Click HERE!   So. Today's the big day.  The day that we've all been waiting with bated breath for.  The trick-or-treaters are ringing the doorbell and the dog is going nuts.  What did you all decide I would be for Halloween?! A terrifying Alien?  A gross Mummy?! No. Yes, I am a pumpkin. Thanks all. If you want me to draw a stick figure picture of YOU in a Halloween costume, leave a comment below with your costume choice.  There will be a costume parade on my blog sometime this week! Well, it's been fun, guys.  If you missed any blog posts or are drunk and have nothing better to do for Halloween, you can catch up on them below. As, always, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!  Don't eat too much candy! Monday - Regected Candy Tuesday - Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare Wednesday - Why Movies Have Made Me Terrified of Lakes Thursday - How to Survive a Scary Movie Friday - Guest Blog: April Denton's Poem, Ultimate Regection Saturday - Since When Did Monsters Get So Pretty? AG | October 31, 2011 at 3:22 pm | Tags: Halloween, Humor, interesting people, Job rejection, movies, writer, writing, Zombies | Categories: Halloween Week | URL: http://wp.me/p1Nfjg-75 Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://regectedriter.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/happy-halloween/

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[New post] Since When Did Monsters Get So Pretty?

New post on Regected Riter Since When Did Monsters Get So Pretty? by AG What won't I be for Halloween, you ask? The things I do for a laugh you guys. Yes, that is a swiffer in my hands. I think the 21st century witch would upgrade their broomstick. Speaking of upgrades, Is it just me or are Vampires getting prettier and prettier? How did we go from this: To this: I mean, I'm all for upgrading the idea of monsters, but where will it end?  Next thing you know, we'll be making vampires sparkle! or aliens adorable or werewolves hunky   pretty pirates charismatic skeletons funny Frankenstein Monsters friendly freakin' ghosts I mean, could you imagine? AG | October 29, 2011 at 9:05 pm | Tags: Halloween, Humor, movies, vampires | Categories: Halloween Week | URL: http://wp.me/p1Nfjg-6T Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://regectedriter.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/since-when-did-monsters-get-so-pretty/

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[New post] Guest Blog: Ultimate Regection by April Denton

New post on Regected Riter Guest Blog: Ultimate Regection by April Denton by AG Hey all! Toady I'm a Zombie in honor of one of my favorite writers, Miss April Denton!  You can check out her blog HERE April is one of my favorite writers; she's writes everything from poems to zombierotica to fiction and she's the leader of the Zweeps Army. So, without further ado, I give you her wonderful eerie poem, Ultimate Rejection "Prepare for the end" they said, for we must survive among the dead. The zombies came from to and fro, they came crashing through my window. My shot rang out loud and clear, then I realized my worst fear. For the shot was like a call, "come horde, it's a feast for all." Retreat now don't haste, these decaying monsters won't be outfaced. Avoid their bite that is how it's spread, first the fever and then you're dead. One sunk their teeth into my wrist, blew the head off that ugly witch. Praying for useless hope, maybe with this I can cope. Immortal and hungry, decaying and angry. Death I reject you, my hunger I will pursue. A zombie I will become, feasting forever in bedlam. Hunting and stalking my next fare, my lungs will need no air. My body will never tire, sleep I don't require. Death a rejection, my gift the infection. ---------- April Denton is a zombie poetess that enjoys the darker side of the undead. When she is not writing, which is very rare, she is drawing or singing. She resides in Indiana with her husband and young son. Read April's work at poetry & zombies and follow her on Twitter   AG | October 28, 2011 at 11:00 am | Tags: bloggers, guest blog, Halloween, interesting people, poetry, writer, Zombies | Categories: Guest Blog, Halloween Week | URL: http://wp.me/p1Nfjg-6P Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://regectedriter.wordpress.com/2011/10/28/guest-blog-ultimate-regection-by-april-denton/

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[New post] How To Survive a Scary Movie

New post on Regected Riter How To Survive a Scary Movie by AG Day 4! Are you afraid of the Dark yet? Have you voted for your favorite Halloween Creature yet? NO?! WHAT! Well, you can vote HERE to help me decide what to be for Halloween.  Already voted? You can vote AGAIN. Technology, all! You know what didn't win? I ain't no vampire. You know where vampires live? HBO Scary Movies. Scary movies have definitely scared the crap out of me taught me a lot over the years.  The following are some handy tips on How to Survive a Scary Movie Step 1 - Always Be Prepared Listen.  There's no excuse to not know your common run of the mill monsters and how to combat them.  Not only are there GAZILLIONS of movies, but there's Google Books.  Don't know how to read? That's all right, below are my very own cliffnotes. You got: Vampires? Stakes.  Garlic apparently doesn't work for the pretty vampires anymore. Werewolves? Silver Bullets.  You can buy some at your local PathMark. Ghosts? Enlist the help of Haley Joel Osment from 1999 Zombies? Good luck. Aliens? You're screwed. Mark Whalberg? RUN!!!!!! Do your research. PLEASE Step 2 - Stay Out of Trouble Don't go pissing any otherworldly creatures off. This includes little old men and women who give you a stink eye at the grocery store when you reach over their head and take the last jar of pickles. Just...just say you're sorry. And then call an exorcist. Step 3 - Don't Be Stupid If your TV is not broadcasting your regularly schedule programming, THROW IT OUT. Giant shark in the ocean? SWIM IN THE POOL. Drifter in the middle of the road? LEAVE HIM THERE! THAT CREEPY DRIFTER WANTS TO EAT YOUR FACE. Odd sounds coming from your basement? DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT! And, for the love of zombies, People flying around the house and acting weird? GET. OUT OF. THE HOUSE!!!!!!   Well, there you have it.  Your guide to surviving a scary movie; the cliffnotes. Stay tuned for the longer version. HAPPY HALLO-ALMOST-WEEN!   AG | October 27, 2011 at 11:52 pm | Tags: Halloween, Humor, movies, writer, writing | Categories: Halloween Week, How to | URL: http://wp.me/p1Nfjg-6J Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://regectedriter.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/how-to-survive-a-scary-movie/

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[New post] Why Movies Have Made Me Terrified of Lakes

New post on Regected Riter Why Movies Have Made Me Terrified of Lakes by AG Day 3 of Halloween Week! Are your teeth sore yet? Vote for your favorite Halloween Creature HERE to help me decide what to be for Halloween.  As you can see, today I am one of the scariest of all the Halloween creatures... WEREWOLF! You can tell I'm a werewolf by my curved fingernails, fused together eyebrows and crazy eyes!  And the fact that I'm utterly terrifying. You know what werewolves remind me of? Lakes. Which is a not at all awkward and horribly placed segway into: Why Movies Have Made Me Terrified of Lakes: A Tale Told in Pictures I have never been one for the outdoors.  I would blame growing up in Brooklyn, but I'm not juvenile.  I know that there's something more to blame MOVIES. They make me question why anybody would go to a lake for relaxation when you're clearly going to be eaten alive. Actually, why anybody would go to any b any type of body of water at all- oceans, swimming pools, and, of course, showers Oh, baths, too But absolutely nothing good ever happens at a lake. They're apparently a hotbed of paranormal activity,   mutant lake creatures and flesh eating viruses Axed murderers looove to hang out around lake houses   Even Sandra Freakin Bullock had a time traveling mailbox which, while not utterly terrifying, is really weird. Why anybody would go to a lake is beyond me. Any place where your face can get chewed off by microscopic bacteria, encounter a mutant repltilian creature or an axweilding maniac with mommy issues  and you run the risk of ending up in a relationship with Keanu Reeves OR Sandra Bullock just doesn't seem worth it. Am I wrong? AG | October 26, 2011 at 7:51 pm | Tags: Halloween, Humor, movies, writer, writing | Categories: Halloween Week, My Thoughts | URL: http://wp.me/p1Nfjg-6q Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://regectedriter.wordpress.com/2011/10/26/why-movies-have-made-me-terrified-of-lakes/

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[New post] Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

New post on Regected Riter Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare by AG Day Two of Regected Halloween Week! I love a good theme. Don't forget to vote for your favorite Halloween Creature HERE to help me decide what to be for Halloween. If you're AWESOME and voted, you'll notice that the option of Ghost is missing.  That is because it's officially the first LOSER, which also means it's my first costume: Freakin' terrifying, I know. So people don't like ghosts.  Shocking.  Well that means I won't be a ghost for Halloween - so what will I be?!  Only you can decide. Speaking of ghosts and a segway as smooth as butter, It's time for my latest Brain Wave - Interviews with Dead Playwrights, because the live ones won't talk to me !  Using the newest and latest and most expensive technology of Beer and Imagination, I sat down with the Ghost of the Bard himself, Mr. William Shakespeare! AG: Seriously? You knew this was the Halloween week and you couldn't even put on a costume? Bill: You look ridiculous AG: Yeah, says the man with the frilly collar.  Seriously, clown much? Billy Shakes:  Don't do that to me. Do you know who I am? AG: Uh yah, do you know who I am? Billy Shakes: No AG: Fair enough. Can I offer you some black licorice or candy corn? Shakes: Sure, I love black licorice and that candy corn is amusing in shape and texture. AG: You really don't read this blog, do you? Shakes: I'm WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. Let's get on with it, shall we? AG: Fine, fine. So Will, Will: You may call me The Bard AG: ....So Will, What made you decide to be a playwright? Mister S: I couldn't do anything else - AG: AH YES! Being a playwright is a calling that surpasses all others, leaving you void of breath and full of words Bill:  No really, I tried acting and I sucked so I wrote plays instead.  And then I got rich. AG: You made money being a writer? Shake Yo Mama: No, I made money being a Playwright.  And from writing the Sonnets. The Queen Looooved My Sonnets Shakes: Yeah she did AG: .... The Bard: Put it in a metaphor, baby! AG: ...Too much candy corn? Shakes: Too much candy corn AG: All right, well, the real reason I asked you to be a part of this series is because you have a new movie coming out Peare: Ugh, don't remind me. AG: And everybody wants to know- Shakespeare: Listen. I probably wrote those plays, all right? I may or may not have put my blood, sweat and tears into each lingering word, which I  or somebody else probably  wrote by hand and with ink. AG: What are you talking about? I wanted to know how it was working with Vanessa Redgrave Shakespeare: You really focus on the wrong things, you know that? AG: Oh, look, a butterfly! Shakespeare: All right, I'm leaving AG: NO WAIT! Can you give my readers some advice on Regection? Shakespeare: You know you're spelling it wrong AG: We spell it like this around here.  It's a whole thing. Please read my blog, William Shakespeare. ShakeyShakes: Well, all I can say is Keep writing.  Because one day they'll make a movie about you claiming another writer wrote all of your plays and it will all be worth it. AG: WELL, that's inspirational Free Willie: Thanks. AG: Do you have anything else to share? Shakespeare: Just keep writing.  Never stop the words from flowing. And ah heck, AG: What are you supposed to be? Shakes: I'm Zorro. AG: Yeah but why the hat? William: Yeah but why the sheet you little -   AG | October 25, 2011 at 8:38 pm | Tags: bad interview, Halloween, Humor, inspiration, interesting people, interview, playwright, playwriting, theater, theatre, writer, writing | Categories: Halloween Week, Interviews with Dead Playwrights | URL: http://wp.me/p1Nfjg-6e Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://regectedriter.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/interview-with-a-dead-playwright-william-shakespeare/

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